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2002-05-09 Entry: "Hair"

I remember now why most mens toilets don't have mirrors in them. They are becoming more common in this fashion conscious day and age, but in general not a one. Presumably, in the dark ages, this was so that vampires wouldn't be spotted while about their business, or maybe just that men don't want to admit to being that vain when in public. Anyway, the toilets at work have mirrors above the sink.

So what did I spot? The hair, which I was reasonably happy with when I left the house, has gone completely crap in the subsequent five hours.

Now, as of fairly recently I've been putting gel in it to at least keep the front bit out of my eyes (which, according to other people, looks vastly better than letting it flop). And hair gel seems to be one of those poorly designed, overly expensive products that marketing chimps put out these days.

It doesn't matter how much I put in my hair, it is guaranteed to look terrible not too many hours afterwards. It's probably something to do with not following the directions. I put a small amount in dry hair. The directions almost certainly say style while damp. Unfortunately, I've tried that - and whenever I'm forced to, I spend the next hour trying to stop my hair looking like a bog brush, before rinsing it out and starting again. It's probably also because the current stuff can barely take the title of "extra-hold" and my mop is thicker than Duncton Wood. So either I have to resort to far too much gel, or the possibility of it wearing out after a few hours.

Well, today, where usually it's reasonably even either side of the non-existent center parting (that bit where the hair just sticks straight up rather than trying to fall left or right), today it seems to have completely collapsed on one side. It's as if all the gel decided it preferred the right side of my head, and has been inching its way over there during the morning. Perhaps someone's hidden a gel-magnet in my desk drawer, and it's being pulled over there. Maybe I just don't know the first thing about hair-care and it's supposed to do that - it's not as if I know an expert I can ask!